I'm still alive

I was nervous today. I don't now why, because I had a really nice day today. It was relaxed. My husband and I had lunch ,that wasn't a big suc6 (lousy food & bad service). But no reason to ruin my day. We went to a beautiful forest with the dog, took a long walk there. My husband A was doing most of the talking. He is starting his own business as well. So times are very exciting now. Independence, freedom & passion are the key words in our career now.

It funny that A & I are so much alike. If you saw us you wouldn't say it. I am very small, petite & very calm. He is tall, broad posture & very outspoken. Well, they say that opposites attract.

But as A was talking about his plans I started to feel nervous. You know, that funny feeling you get when you get nervous or anxious about something. Well I had that today. Not in a "Oh my god, what's going to happen" kind of way. I was just really excited like a kid. My mind was telling me that it's going to happen. I don't know when, but I feel that we will have success in our business & in life. This feeling made me excited like a little girl.

I had those feelings before a long time ago. In my days when I was a ballet dancer. I remember I was already accepted to the Ballet Academy & I had to wait half a year to get my schedule to start my first year at the Academy. I had the same feeling like today every day for 6 months. Everyday waiting for the mail to come. My god, what was I excited! It made me feel alive. Made me forget the problems I had at that time. I know it maybe sounds stupid, but those moments I just felt happy. And I don't have had a lot of happy moments in my life. But those 6 months waiting to start doing the thing that I loved the most at that time, I will never forget it. Because no one could take that away from me. I had done this all by myself. I had achieved my goal.

Something about that feeling in my stomach today made me realize that I am going to achieve my goal again. But I have a lot of goals. So which goal it's going to be, I don't know. I recently made a list for myself I would like to achieve in my life. Things I want to do or see or learn in my life. Those things show me that life is beautiful & worth living. What those things are I will keep to myself for now. If I achieve them I will let you know. But I have to tell you, it's a long list :D .

It has been a while but today I felt live inside me.



Photo Zink Magazine